Eggshell white paint, which somebody had applied carelessly in short, haphazard strokes, covered the doll’s face, and the streaks of rouge on each cheek could not prevent it from looking utterly pallid. Its stringy black hair formed a cowlick in the back of its head, and its tattered, muddy clothes looked like they might disintegrate if touched. The worst part was its eyes — spaced slightly further than expected from the center; the bright blue pupils were set on bulging wooden balls, conveying an uncannily real earnestness. He seemed coiled up, trying to break free and lunge at me.
Author Archives: millerwiller
What to Expect When Your Girlfriend Turns Into a Hot Dog: For Dummies
Do you love your partner? Will you always love them? What if they turned into a worm? What if they turned into a hot dog?
My next story, “What to Expect When Your Girlfriend Turns Into a Hot Dog: For Dummies” addresses this.
I hope you enjoy it! 🙂
The Beeping
This is not a story that “started innocently enough.” It started pretty fucking horribly, actually. You see, it wasn’t a zombie, bug, or werewolf that haunted me. It was the beeping.
The things living in my house are not my real family
I was certain imposters had taken over my home, and I wouldn’t let them get away with it.
The Secret Ingredient
Kim and I were getting high, nuzzled on our plush couch when a commercial for Mama’s Pies came through The Feed. My mouth immediately felt bland, as if I had licked cardboard. The flaky, crackling crust and sweet blueberries danced on the screen. A catchy song, almost a chant, overlaid the video. It went, “…makeContinue reading “The Secret Ingredient”
Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite
My business partner Aaron and I arrived at the dark cottage late at night, soaked to the bone from the torrential rain. The sign outside read Rooms Available! We were weary, and this should have been a good omen, yet the silhouette cut around the house by the full moon’s light left me unsettled. “IContinue reading “Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite”
The Trip
Mel looked up at me with a tentative smile. Her eyes did not contain the same endearing nervousness as on our wedding day. They hid something much tenser now. “Are you sure this is going to be okay?” Mel asked. “I’ve read that some people weren’t the same afterward.” “It’ll be fine,” I said curtly.Continue reading “The Trip”
Harold the Squirrel
Have you ever wondered why squirrels dart out in front of cars only to rush back to safety at the last second? Let me tell you the story of Harold the Squirrel. When Harold married his bride Emily, they were as happy as could be. They laughed and kissed and made love blanketed in theContinue reading “Harold the Squirrel”
The Nothingness
I had been snowed-in at my grandad’s cabin for over a week, and I was bored. Sure, it snowed in the city, but not like this. Even the animals couldn’t stand to be around here this time of the year. It was the silence, the nothingness, that I couldn’t get over. No games, no TV,Continue reading “The Nothingness”
Through the Fog
I should have never gone out on the boat with Ron. I laid in the lower deck of his small sailboat listening to him laughing on the phone with his jackass friends about the latest Joe Rogan podcast. My face was smushed against a plastic life preserver as I tried to focus on the hollowContinue reading “Through the Fog”
