The Onion Boy does not sleep, for night is the time he furtively toils, collecting and consuming dreams. His appetite is never satisfied. He moves on to the next sleeping victim with the prior still weighing freshly in his stomach — for he is sure they will be digested in time for his next meal.
Category Archives: Short Stories
CAPTCHA
4,900 words, ~20-minute read time. The accompanying blog post is linked here. Bright red text flashed on the screen: “Fatal Error: Your password and/or CAPTCHA is incorrect.“ I gritted my teeth. My neck muscles tensed. An unhelpful pop-up appeared with this definition: “CAPTCHA stands for ‘Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and HumansContinue reading “CAPTCHA”
The Lonely Wolf
The first scant glimmers of the full moon seeped through the cloud coverage, and Max started to feel the transformation begin its infernal machinations inside him. He took a deep breath and stood, ready to change, when he heard a beautiful, lilting voice beckon from behind him.
Wrung Out
She is just starting to fill up her inanely large insulated tumbler, which reads “Cla$$y, Sa$$y, and a Bit Smart A$$y” in vulgar, cursive script and has a little Minion with a smug grin under it. The cooler filter isn’t changed regularly, so I’ll be subjected to Sherri’s babbling for at least another minute while her cup is filled drip by drip with PFA-laden tap water.
The Last Blue Light
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The Doll
Eggshell white paint, which somebody had applied carelessly in short, haphazard strokes, covered the doll’s face, and the streaks of rouge on each cheek could not prevent it from looking utterly pallid. Its stringy black hair formed a cowlick in the back of its head, and its tattered, muddy clothes looked like they might disintegrate if touched. The worst part was its eyes — spaced slightly further than expected from the center; the bright blue pupils were set on bulging wooden balls, conveying an uncannily real earnestness. He seemed coiled up, trying to break free and lunge at me.
What to Expect When Your Girlfriend Turns Into a Hot Dog: For Dummies
Do you love your partner? Will you always love them? What if they turned into a worm? What if they turned into a hot dog?
My next story, “What to Expect When Your Girlfriend Turns Into a Hot Dog: For Dummies” addresses this.
I hope you enjoy it! 🙂
The Beeping
This is not a story that “started innocently enough.” It started pretty fucking horribly, actually. You see, it wasn’t a zombie, bug, or werewolf that haunted me. It was the beeping.
The things living in my house are not my real family
I was certain imposters had taken over my home, and I wouldn’t let them get away with it.
The Secret Ingredient
Kim and I were getting high, nuzzled on our plush couch when a commercial for Mama’s Pies came through The Feed. My mouth immediately felt bland, as if I had licked cardboard. The flaky, crackling crust and sweet blueberries danced on the screen. A catchy song, almost a chant, overlaid the video. It went, “…makeContinue reading “The Secret Ingredient”
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